I Remember You
by Little Laughssassin
Summary: Rev! Nat and Rave oneshot. James was everything to Nat, and still is. It's just hard to say goodbye to someone who can no longer hear you say it


_**Author's Note:**_This is simply a Rev! Nat and Rave oneshot because I just have a lot of feels about these 2 and I had a mighty need to write them ;v; so enjoy my sad little fic!

Nat belongs to c2ndy2cid  
Rave belongs to Kirakurry

My Tumblr: little - laughssassin . tumblr . com

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_**I Remember You**_

Nat had gotten last year's yearbook from its place on his bookshelf. He flipped carefully and slowly through each individual page, looking at each picture and comment as if the hastiest of flips would damage the moments and memories.

He read each comment friends and teachers had posted on the first 2 blank paged inside the cover; "Have a great summer!", "See you next year!", "Don't get too crazy!", etc. etc.

Generic after generic comment from people who just didn't know him that well but were still on friendly terms; but Nat didn't mind much, it was still nice of someone to wish someone else a good summer or life.

His eyes scanned the page, the little doodles some people drew, neat, cursive writing from his favorite teachers whom he got to sign too; and then he got to his actual friends' comments…

"Dude, we better get to hang out tons this summer! We'll have all the time in the world to keep working on our badass robot for the competition next spring! Uhmm, you know I'm not that good with words, so, yeah, I'll see ya later King of Butts haha. Thanks for keeping me in check, and remember I'm here for you too." - **Kevin**

"You are one crazy dude! But an awesome friend as well. Loved getting to spend yet another English class with you. Homeroom buddies 3rd year in a row! Be happy Nat" – **Nazz**

"LETTUCE-HAIRED BOY! You have made Rolf's year as entertaining as making sausages with nana and uncle Ygor. Try not getting into too much trouble this summer! May your days be filled with sun and fun ya?" – **Rolf.**

He smiled at their words; his best friends, the three signatures that made him smile the most. He continued on, going through photos of the façade for Peach Creek High, of the lounge, cafeteria, gym, people walking to class, the teachers and other staff.

School team photos: the tennis team, swim team, '_Hah! There's the shark, looking as _sharp_ as ever!", _the volleyball team, the basketball team, and finally the football team. Then came the clubs: cooking club, art club, sewing club, anime club, music club, band, quiz bowl (which Nat himself belonged along with his best friends), chess, and of course, theater, which _he_ belonged to.

James stood there on stage, tall and content next to the drama teacher, Mrs. Belcourt. He was their little prodigy, which admittedly would sometimes get on other girls' nerves because he could so easily get the male OR female lead. He never gave a single flying fuck if he ever got the stink eye from one of his jealous peers.

"_I know I can do better, so why should I let the production not reach it's full potential by stepping down?!" _He said once as he was eating dinner at Nat's house after one of his rehearsals, "_Broadway is calling my name Goldberg! And I will do anything to be at the very top in every school production until I get there!"_ Then he flashed the smile Nat loved so much, and proceeded to stuff another meatball into his mouth.

Nat admired his determination, even if he didn't say it very often. James knew what he wanted, and he knew what he loved. He was a force to be reckoned with.

He looked at his own club. Nazz was there, and Rolf with his pig – why he had his pig with him, Nat didn't know, but it was Rolf, and he liked his weird quirks… and Wilfred was a total bro. He always knew what to oink to make a guy feel better. Sometimes you just gotta spend time a pig to really understand the world you know?

Nat smiled at the pictures, especially the one the photographer took of he and Kevin making silly faces to make each other laugh.

He moved on to pages filled with photographs from past events and games. Random moments at the school, like crazy prom proposals and such. Nat wondered what his classmates would do to propose now that they were the seniors in school. Everything in these pages was filled with memories, and smiles, and one or two crying faces, but even those were likely tears of joy, like when the football team won the High School Nationals, or when Eddward lead his swim team to victory in their own nationals as well. He could be hella scary at times, to the point where Nat was glad he never had to deal with him as his team captain, but the guy was good.

Then came the pages that started to list off students per grade. Eighth grade… Ninth… Tenth… Eleven.

Nat looked at each photo, every classmate he had that year. Some of them were very photogenic, some were decent, and others couldn't have looked more awkward. He of course, was a thing of beauty, '_I always look good; even when I look ugly I'm pretty!'_

He thought with a smug smile. He read every name and looked at every face, and then he saw James Castellanos.

The boy just had a way to get Nat's attention. Wherever he was, even if it was in the crowded school cafeteria at lunch, he would stick out like a sore, mahogany-haired, thumb.

Nat and James would bicker constantly, but never anything serious, although from time to time things would escalate a little. They both had a pretty bad temper when angered, but Nat never liked fighting with him. He never liked being on his bad side. He never liked seeing him upset, especially when he was the cause.

He liked James happy, and laughing, and stupidly and childishly bickering with Nat; singing and dancing and acting at peace.

He went through a few more pages, and there he was again. Those 2 pages had been reserved for that year's school play. Mrs. Belcourt had felt confident with her cast and crew that year, they had some pretty good veterans, including James, and so she decided that perhaps it was time to tackle Beauty and the Beast.

There were photographs of the cast and crew joking backstage, people doing their hair and makeup, the male lead, Richard, a senior at the time, having a horrible time trying to get into his Beast costume, Mrs. Teapot and Chip on-stage…

And James; James who had gotten the part of Belle. His voice was slightly more feminine than Richard's, so Mrs. Belcourt felt he should play Belle instead.

There was a photograph of James singing near one of the trees, looking beautiful and completely in his zone; he was singing one of his verses for Something There, under the bright, warm spot light.

He looked so happy, and Nat remembered that play, and that night.

Oh…did he ever remember that damned night.

A single tear escapes the corner of Nat's eye, trailing down his cheek, and landing on James' picture. A hiccup, a sob, he put his hand to his mouth, as if trying to control the emotions that threatened to overcome him; trying to keep them inside. But he couldn't.

He couldn't because it was James. He was the signature that was never written, the "school buddies" photo that was never taken, the "I love you" that was never confessed, the hand that was never held, and the goodbye that was never said.

It was James. The theater princess, or prince. The theater's soul and the future Broadway star. The sassy, sarcastic, smart-mouthed, irritating, adorable little shit.

Nat could barely hold the tears in now, so he simply gave up and let himself go, clutching the yearbook in his hands until his knuckles turned white; they trembled as his tears stained the once intact pages.

"Why, James? Why did you have to leave me so soon?" His words came out as a broken mumble, "I never hated you. I never got annoyed by you…well… at least not for long…DAMNIT JAMES."

He slammed the book shut and threw it against the wall. Nat hung his head low and just became numb as he let his system empty out his emotions and compose itself again.

This is what hurt Nat so deeply; that James _was_, not _is_.

James _was _this, James _was_ that, James _was _everything… James _was_ alive.

It had been 3 months already, but that dreadful night, the horrendous crash, the loud screams, and the sinking pit that formed in his stomach as he watched that familiar figure lay over the stage... under his spot light… still haunted Nat to this very day. It was hard to move on and say goodbye to someone who could no longer hear you.


End file.
